You have been together for a while.
Things are not as they used to be. You don’t kiss or touch so often anymore. You’ve gotten used to each other’s presence, and the butterflies are long gone.
You co-exist peacefully (most of the time), and you agree that you have a good relationship — better than most.
But somewhere there, deep down, you feel the disconnection that’s been gradually creeping in. Not because you don’t love them, but because time-inflicted habituation and life’s general busyness have desensitized you to the power of everyday gestures of affection.
But sometimes, when you watch a romantic movie or listen to a sad song or drink a few glasses of wine, you can feel the sweet urge to show all that love you’ve been bottling up.
You suddenly remember and appreciate all their small gestures throughout the years:
How they always give you the biggest piece of pie. How they compliment you in front of others. How they smile at you in the morning. How they’re always the first one apologizing.
How they mean it when they say they love you, and how much it means to them to hear it back.
How they are always there for you.
And how much more you can be there for them.
Suddenly, you realize that it’s completely up to you to bridge the gap that’s been forming between you. You feel it with a little bit of guilt, but mostly with a renewed sense of empowerment: all you need to do it be there and show love.
All you need to do is to say thank you more often. To hug them for no reason. To compliment their work and creations. To appreciate the child in them. To forgive all those small shortcomings that cause you disproportionate annoyance (not taking out the trash, that ridiculous joke they keep repeating, the moments when they struggle to understand you).
Because here’s the truth:
Today might be the last day you will ever spend together.
It might sound dramatic or cliché, but let it sink in for a moment.
No one knows how much time they’ve got left in this life. One day, you will see your partner for the last time. How do you want to remember your relationship?
Do you want to know that you’ve given all the love you could give? That you’ve seen them and accepted them as their were, and that you made them feel that way?
Or do you want to painfully remember all the opportunities you missed to close the gap, to make them smile, to show them how you feel?
There is no such thing as saying “I love you” too much.
There just isn’t.
Go over to them and say it right now. If they’re not with you, send them a voice message. Say it like you mean it. Imagine you’ll never see them again. Say it like it’s pouring right out of your chest, like you can’t contain it anymore. Be a hopeless romantic. Risk being ridiculous. Say it even if you feel embarrassed. Say it even if you haven’t said it in years, and the love feels rusty and awkward and you fear they’ll laugh at you.
Because they won’t. You’re not ridiculous. You are the person they choose to spend their life with. Show your love today, and then tomorrow, and then every day for as long as you’re together.
And while you’re at it, do the same to all the people you love.
Grab your phone and just do it. Be the sentimental fool. Who cares? You will—when you realize you took the chance while it was there instead of saving your feelings for no one.
Your life are your relationships. Nothing else matters.
And relationships are made of habits. Love is kept alive with small maintenance gestures: you don’t do them out of love, you do them because you want to keep loving.
Love is an action. Make it a habit.