Exploring the Limits of Love

How my polyamorous relationship changed my life

I.

“I would like to try an open relationship.”

When I said these words to my partner, his face was expressionless. He didn’t speak for a while, and I didn’t push him.

During the last months of our three-year relationship, I started feeling attracted to other people. The exclusivity agreement I had subconsciously made with my partner was beginning to weigh on me, and some questions were beginning to surface:

“How can I fully be myself if I place restrictions on the love I can give to others? How can my affection for someone cause someone else a feeling of lack? What if we could separate love from attachment? What if I could be completely free to pursue the full potential of any human interaction I encounter?”

My feelings for my partner were unchanged, but love itself began to feel incomplete. When he finally replied to my proposal, he told me that he felt insecure, uneasy. Hearing my need to emotionally connect with others, he felt a deep fear of “not being enough” for me.

He soon realized, however, that his doubts were rooted a bit deeper than that first insecurity: “I consider myself to be a very open-minded person, but this just…