Hi Brent, thank you so much for your response. I can definitely see why some team-facilitators would use this as a team-building exercise — I have done so myself in the past, with very effective results.
I half-agree with you when it comes to your last sentence. I believe the role of the facilitator is definitely to provide a comfortable space by offering effective guidance, however it is impossible from “talking down” people from “feeling”. You feel what you feel — if that is discomfort, then I believe you should just let it be and honor it.
However — and here is where I agree with you — as a facilitator, I always try to:
- Observe and acknowledge people’s emotions to the best of my ability, and
- Help them channel those emotions in a way that contributes towards the power of the experience, instead of sabotaging it.
In that case, what I would do, after noticing the apparent discomfort that woman was feeling, I would bring people’s attention to their own emotions (probably even mention “discomfort” or “disquiet” as specific examples). Then, I would guide them to remain aware of them, but to keep themselves from reacting: “Even if you feel agitated, make sure you keep looking into your partner’s eyes no matter what. Let your emotions run through you freely, but don’t let them take your attention away from the person in front of you.”
Of course, there are plenty other ways to go about it, but as a general solution I would always bring people to the present moment (their reality right there and then, what they are feeling, what they are doing) and then invite them to express it in a way that respects the “rules” of the exercise (ex: it’s okay to cry, but don’t stand up; it’s okay to laugh, but don’t talk; etc.)
I hope that answers your question!
