How to Ask for Favors That People Want to Fulfill

“I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.” — Vito Corleone

We all have needed help at some point during our lives, and we have all offered help to someone who needed it. Moving homes. Passing the salt. Offering a friendly shoulder to your best friend after her break-up, or babysitting the neighbor’s child.

We have all been there: asking for favors and doing them for others is one of the most basic tools we use to live and thrive in society.

So how come it can be so freaking hard?

The first reason is probably our debilitating fear of rejection. Sometimes it’s not even about the consequences of not receiving the favor itself, but merely having to face the fact that we have been told “no”.

Then there’s the guilt. Often when asking someone for something we feel shame and reluctance because we don’t want to “be a burden” (“How dare I even ask her this?”). We feel ashamed because somehow along our lives we have swallowed the belief that reaching out for help is a sign of weakness, and we don’t want to be in anyone’s debt.

As we approach the art of making requests from such a flawed and unhealthy mindset, it’s only natural that our favors are often met with reluctance, at a cost, or not met at…