I’m Coming Out: This is My True Self

Every time I write something with the intention of publishing it, I can feel my inner self splitting in half.

One part of me immediately connects with my deepest emotional self and switches to pure brainstorming mode. Ideas quickly begin to surface in my head, connecting with each other and forming coherent arguments, thoughts, and sometimes even beautiful pieces of art. This part of me wants to let out whatever there is of beautiful and unique in me, and each idea she shouts is filled with authenticity.

Let’s call her Carol.

However, there is this another part of me which usually enters the scene without me even noticing it. She’s pretty sassy, so let’s call her Vanessa.

Vanessa carefully scans each of Carol’s creations and proceeds to finding as many faults in them as she possibly can:

“This is too spiritual — that’s not what personal development should look like. Let’s be serious here.”

“What do you mean, we’re going to mention that we’re vegan? In an article? On Medium? Are you crazy? We either go into that topic full steam ahead and prepare to fight, or we drop it.”

“No, no, no. We can’t make it sound like we are struggling. We used to have that problem, but we fixed it. I know you don’t agree, but that’s true. Now let’s…